Life is hard. We all know that – especially considering it is the most repeated phrase of all time when grownups teach kids about the real world. Alternate versions include: “Life isn’t fair”, and “That’s just the way it is.” However, while I prepared for this study abroad program, not a single person told me, “Hey, don’t forget that life is still going to be hard every now and then.”

Well it turns out that it doesn’t matter where in the world you are, life still isn’t easy. 

Of course, it would be ridiculous for you all to think that I am miserable and that I wish I never came here, because that is as far from the truth as we could get. In fact, I’ve seen more in the past month than I think I have seen in all of my time living in the U.S., and each day that I discover something new, I fall in love with traveling all over again. Actually, here’s a quick list of things I found pretty notable so far:

I went on a boat cruise on the Seine.
I went to a castle and saw a lot of shiny things. 
I went to Belfast, Northern Ireland, and I met people who were extras in Game of Thrones.
I went on a Pub Crawl in Belfast, and had a REALLY good time.
I stayed in a hostel for the first time, which was ridiculously fun.
I drank a Guinness. In Belfast. It was pretty cool. 
I went to Versailles and saw more shiny things!
I have done a lot of homework.
I learned a few French swear words.
I went to a really hardcore cemetery.
I saw NWA, and Seul Sur Mars. (The subtitles did not convey all of the swear words)
I went to Berlin!
I ate schnitzel.
I stayed out from sunset to sunrise the next morning.
I wore a Pope hat for Halloween.
I dyed my hair blonde.

And all of these things, (plus all of the ones I have forgotten to list here because I know I did) have made me even more determined to return to Europe again and again and again.

The reality is though, that feelings will always happen no matter where you go. In Europe, I’ve laughed more than I thought possible, and I have had a lifetime’s worth of new experiences, but I’ve also cried because I was stressed, frustrated, and sad.

At first, I had a hard time coming to terms with the feelings that I now realize were inevitable. I wanted this trip to be the completely blissful, flawless trip that my imagination set it up to be, but let’s be reasonable here, that was never going to happen.

A combination of homesickness, a minor cold, and more walking than I’m used to (seriously the gardens at Versailles are infinite) made it possible for me to feel cranky, tired, and not one hundred percent good about every single thing that has happened while I’ve been here. I’ve had to adapt to a new living situation, school patterns, new classes, and a completely new continent! It would be INSANE if I could manage through all of this confusion and newness without feeling a little irritated or uncomfortable every now and then. 

But now that I have had the time to adjust and think/reflect on myself, and my personal expectations, I finally understand that it’s okay. It’s okay to feel not quite your best, because when the feeling good part comes back around, you know life is really good.

Even though I still miss my family, friends, and my dog, and not every day is a shiny blissful vacay, I would say without a doubt that life here is pretty damn good.